Sunday, August 26, 2012

The Love Experiment

I recently heard a story about a car salesman who sent love to all his customers. He would mentally say “I love you” to everyone he interacted with. The result was that he was really successful and people loved buying cars from him!
This story really got my attention because I feel like I try so hard at work to do my best and achieve all my goals. I often try so hard that it backfires on me. I get really nervous and I can look like I don’t know what I’m doing! When I heard this story, it inspired me to experiment and see what would happen if I sent love to all my clients. The next day at work, I mentally said “I love you” to each of my clients and to my coworkers too. The result was an overall feeling of ease and well-being that flowed through my entire day. All four of my clients upgraded to customized facials, and two of them bought products. This happened so naturally, with minimal effort on my part! There was no forcing, no convincing, and no sales pitch. I simply kept bringing myself back to this feeling of love, and everything unfolded so beautifully.
If you think about it, it really makes sense. We all want to be loved, and when we can feel love emanating from another person, of course we will naturally feel drawn to them. Let me clarify that this is not a way to manipulate people; genuine love can’t be faked, and I believe that people can tell if someone is trying to manipulate them. What I’m talking about, and probably what this car salesman experienced, was a feeling of true connection with people.
I noticed that my day unfolded with so much ease. One thing that usually bothers me is when my timing is off and things get backed up. That day, my timing wasn’t perfect at all, but the difference was that I didn’t let it bother me! I just rolled with it and decided to keep sending love to my clients. Every time I started to feel a little stressed or worried, I just kept bringing myself back into a feeling of love. I also want to add that the love I’m talking about is not to be confused with romantic love. I’m talking about genuine love and appreciation for another human being, whether we know them well or not.
I recently read a quote that sums it all up:
“We must know that we have been created for greater things, not just to be a number in the world, not just to go for diplomas and degrees, this work and that work. We have been created in order to love and to be loved.”
–Mother Teresa
I wholeheartedly agree, and it’s interesting to note that Mother Teresa was a millionaire. Just thought I’d throw that in there!
Imagine how your day would unfold if you sent love to every customer, every client, and all of your coworkers. Imagine sending love to every driver on the road—even the ones that cut you off! Imagine sending love to people that have hurt you in some way. It’s going beyond forgiveness, into compassion and wisdom. What a magnificent way to move through each day. I am totally going to continue this experiment and watch how it keeps unfolding!

You can also read it here!

Monday, August 20, 2012

What is Confidence, Really?

I’m doing something a little different this week. I’ve been having so many insights, and instead of trying to write a perfect article for each one, I feel inspired to express my thoughts in a more free-flowing way.
It seems like throughout my whole life, people have been telling me I need to be more confident. I’ve grown to almost hate that word! And I hear it everywhere: Confidence is sexy, confidence is key, guys are attracted to confident women…okay, I get it! But how does a person become confident if they’ve never really experienced it?
I’ve explored the concept of confidence, and the dictionary definition is kind of boring: belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities. What does that really mean and how does that translate into an actual experience?
I was lying in bed the other morning, in between sleeping and waking, and it hit me:
True confidence is the total freedom to be you.
I’m so glad I always keep a notebook by my bed because lots of other clear insights came to me and I was able to write them all down:
Relaxed self-expression, open and free
Decisions, actions, movements without hesitation or questioning
Unafraid, unabashed, unfiltered
Not embarrassed
Loud and clear. Not needing permission from anyone
Total inner knowing
Fully here
Alert, focused
No comparing
No need for approval from other people
Approving myself first and only
I realized that I approach many of the things I do in life with a lot of hesitation, questioning, doubting, and wondering if what I’m doing is good enough. Somewhere along the way, I picked up this habit, but now that I’m aware of it, and now that I have this empowering new understanding, I can make a new choice. I can choose to fully be me, loud and clear, proud and filled with joy and appreciation for who I am and for the privilege of living this amazing, mysterious, miraculous life!

You can also read it here:

Monday, August 6, 2012

Living in the Moment

Some of you may know I work at a spa as an esthetician. It seems like every day is a lesson in trusting my instincts and knowing that everything will unfold smoothly. Most days, I’m booked pretty solid. Sometimes my first client will be a little late and it creates a negative domino effect for the entire day. I’m learning to ride that wave gracefully instead of getting flustered and rushing through each session, just trying to catch up with myself.
When I’m relaxed, confident, and even nonchalant, things seem to just flow. When I’m booked solid, I have a choice: I can freak out about trying to make sure everything goes perfectly, or I can relax and focus on enjoying the moment. When I’m able to relax and enjoy the moment, everything unfolds as if by magic. I am supplied with everything I need, people seem friendlier, and things just seem to go my way. Yet when I fret about timing, or trying to sell products, or if I find that I’m working too hard or trying to impress someone, everything feels more tedious and stressful, and it’s not fun at all.
I love the days when I’m in a state of flow. I’m in the right place at the right time and there’s not a trace of stress. The other night, it was the end of my shift and I happened to check my phone as a call was coming in. Then I made another call and I caught the person just before they were leaving. Then I realized I had three extra hot towels and I asked if anyone needed them. Someone just happened to need them at that moment! I absolutely love when things unfold like this. It amazes me because I wasn’t trying to make anything happen. I was just relaxed in the moment and everything just clicked into place.
These kinds of things happen all the time. Do you ever notice that when you’re in a rush, you catch every red light, or when you try to be quiet, you make the most noise? What’s up with that?! It seems like the very act of trying to make something happen is counterproductive. It’s more natural and productive to ease into the experience, no matter what it is, and watch it unfold gracefully.
I always thought I had to set goals and work really hard at achieving them. But I’m realizing more and more that life is not about getting to a finish line. Life is a constant unfolding. Life is here and now. We can’t relive the past and we can’t live in the future. We can only be right where we are: in the constantly flowing present moment. What a great place to be!

You can also read my article here!